I recently took my journal off the fireplace mantle and started writing in it again. I knew it had been awhile since I had written, but had no idea it had been almost two years! So much had happened since that time, it was sad to lose all those memories to paper. I attempted to highlight some of the bigger events, especially the birth of our son, but it's not the same as a semi-daily writing that captures each moment more faithfully and fully.
I also went to the beginning of the journal and read all the entries I had written. In a way, it was fun to read about all the adventures Steve and I were having. It seemed like every weekend we were doing something fun; going to hockey or baseball games, eating our at fun restaurants, shopping, going to farmers markets, taking little trips, etc. Or, even better, we were relaxing at home; taking naps, reading, working in our "yard", taking long walks and bike rides together, just enjoying each other's company.
It was fun, but it was also bad for me. I love my son and am so glad to have him in my life, but there have been times when I have felt frustrated by the lack of freedom I feel. My life is pretty much structured around his schedule of sleeping and eating. I'm okay with that, because it makes me and him happier, but it's still confining when compared to my previous lifestyle. I know it won't always be this way and I'm certainly not wishing for him to grow up any faster than he is...it was just a little hard to read about all the things I used to do that I love doing and that I'm not doing now.
I guess it's not just having the baby, but having the baby right before winter and not wanting to take him outside a lot in the freezing cold. That made me feel really confined. Now that the weather is slowly warming, I have great hopes to be able to go out with him more often - although still within the routine we establish, it's just part of my nature to have one, even though it constantly changes. I look forward to going to the park with Matt, sitting in our backyard on a blanket, going to the zoo and the farmers market, and doing a lot of the activities I enjoy. We even bought a bike trailer for him so Matt can go on bike rides with me. Already, we've been able to go on several walks with Steve and Sadie in the evenings due to warm weather. It was glorious!
I'm glad I've started writing in my journal again. These years with Matt are going to be so fun and full of newness, I want to capture them all.
I also went to the beginning of the journal and read all the entries I had written. In a way, it was fun to read about all the adventures Steve and I were having. It seemed like every weekend we were doing something fun; going to hockey or baseball games, eating our at fun restaurants, shopping, going to farmers markets, taking little trips, etc. Or, even better, we were relaxing at home; taking naps, reading, working in our "yard", taking long walks and bike rides together, just enjoying each other's company.
It was fun, but it was also bad for me. I love my son and am so glad to have him in my life, but there have been times when I have felt frustrated by the lack of freedom I feel. My life is pretty much structured around his schedule of sleeping and eating. I'm okay with that, because it makes me and him happier, but it's still confining when compared to my previous lifestyle. I know it won't always be this way and I'm certainly not wishing for him to grow up any faster than he is...it was just a little hard to read about all the things I used to do that I love doing and that I'm not doing now.
I guess it's not just having the baby, but having the baby right before winter and not wanting to take him outside a lot in the freezing cold. That made me feel really confined. Now that the weather is slowly warming, I have great hopes to be able to go out with him more often - although still within the routine we establish, it's just part of my nature to have one, even though it constantly changes. I look forward to going to the park with Matt, sitting in our backyard on a blanket, going to the zoo and the farmers market, and doing a lot of the activities I enjoy. We even bought a bike trailer for him so Matt can go on bike rides with me. Already, we've been able to go on several walks with Steve and Sadie in the evenings due to warm weather. It was glorious!
I'm glad I've started writing in my journal again. These years with Matt are going to be so fun and full of newness, I want to capture them all.