Getting pregnant has messed with my plans.
I was going to work at my job until I graduated with my Masters, then find a job and work in the Accounting industry for a few years before going back to school for my PhD. Then I'd find my dream job teaching at a university or college somewhere that we'd live for the rest of our lives.
Now I'm having a baby and I'm not sure what I want to do. Part of me wants to stay at home to raise our child and another part doesn't. I can't say I'm thrilled with the idea of putting a child in daycare if we don't have to, especially right off the bat. I know countless parents do it all the time and it's fine, it's just not my first choice...if I don't have to. So, Steve and I are thinking that if he finds a job that pays a little more than I'm making at my current job (which isn't a lot), I'll stay home with our kid while he works. I'll continue to take classes, which are in the evenings, thankfully, so he can be with our baby while I'm at class, and graduate with my Masters next Spring, April 2014.
I'm pretty good with all of that. It's after that point that I start feeling unsure about what I want to do. In a way, I love the idea of being at home with our child, watching it grow, playing with it, helping it develop while keeping the house in some semblance of order, growing a garden (even if it's mostly in pots), maybe work on writing the children's series I've been wanting to write for a couple years, maybe learning how to sew, maybe just feeling good about showering every day (I hear that's an accomplishment at first).
Then, I read the job postings that Steve is finding during his job hunt. Jobs that are a bit beyond his education but that would be perfect for me. Accounting jobs that require a Masters or even just a Bachelors but that would pay lots more than I make now and more than the jobs he'll probably qualify for. A part of me feels a little guilty about staying home when I have higher earning potential that could help our family's finances. I like the idea of working in my field, doing a job I've been educated and trained to do instead of the piddly job I have now (which I'm nevertheless very grateful to have!) that doesn't require an education or training to do. I also don't want to wait too long to enter into the job market for fear of losing my market-ablity. After staying home for a couple years or so, will I still be able to get a good paying job?
Steve doesn't want to stay home. He's great with me staying home, even though I could make a good living by getting an Accounting job. He wants to work if he finds the right job, which I know he will in time. He's also very supportive of what I want to do...once I figure that out. I'm lucky to have a husband that is so easy-going and that loves me so much that he just wants me to be happy.
I guess in the end, I'll have to play things by ear. I'm not good at that. I like to have things planned, even if not to the finest detail, at least generally planned. I guess I'm going to have to go with the flow for a bit and have faith that everything will be good. I'm grateful that I'm in the position to be able to choose.
I was going to work at my job until I graduated with my Masters, then find a job and work in the Accounting industry for a few years before going back to school for my PhD. Then I'd find my dream job teaching at a university or college somewhere that we'd live for the rest of our lives.
Now I'm having a baby and I'm not sure what I want to do. Part of me wants to stay at home to raise our child and another part doesn't. I can't say I'm thrilled with the idea of putting a child in daycare if we don't have to, especially right off the bat. I know countless parents do it all the time and it's fine, it's just not my first choice...if I don't have to. So, Steve and I are thinking that if he finds a job that pays a little more than I'm making at my current job (which isn't a lot), I'll stay home with our kid while he works. I'll continue to take classes, which are in the evenings, thankfully, so he can be with our baby while I'm at class, and graduate with my Masters next Spring, April 2014.
I'm pretty good with all of that. It's after that point that I start feeling unsure about what I want to do. In a way, I love the idea of being at home with our child, watching it grow, playing with it, helping it develop while keeping the house in some semblance of order, growing a garden (even if it's mostly in pots), maybe work on writing the children's series I've been wanting to write for a couple years, maybe learning how to sew, maybe just feeling good about showering every day (I hear that's an accomplishment at first).
Then, I read the job postings that Steve is finding during his job hunt. Jobs that are a bit beyond his education but that would be perfect for me. Accounting jobs that require a Masters or even just a Bachelors but that would pay lots more than I make now and more than the jobs he'll probably qualify for. A part of me feels a little guilty about staying home when I have higher earning potential that could help our family's finances. I like the idea of working in my field, doing a job I've been educated and trained to do instead of the piddly job I have now (which I'm nevertheless very grateful to have!) that doesn't require an education or training to do. I also don't want to wait too long to enter into the job market for fear of losing my market-ablity. After staying home for a couple years or so, will I still be able to get a good paying job?
Steve doesn't want to stay home. He's great with me staying home, even though I could make a good living by getting an Accounting job. He wants to work if he finds the right job, which I know he will in time. He's also very supportive of what I want to do...once I figure that out. I'm lucky to have a husband that is so easy-going and that loves me so much that he just wants me to be happy.
I guess in the end, I'll have to play things by ear. I'm not good at that. I like to have things planned, even if not to the finest detail, at least generally planned. I guess I'm going to have to go with the flow for a bit and have faith that everything will be good. I'm grateful that I'm in the position to be able to choose.